Twitchy
When I have large chunks of free time (i.e. weekends) I ironically get an impulse to do something. And not just any something, but something with effect. Something important, dang it! Odd, considering how much time I spend flitting from one thing to another during the week. Usually, when I'm sitting there thinking about how to placate this urge, I usually end up visualizing myself in front of the computer writing something. A story. A post on this blog. An enraged letter to folks like Jack Chick. Whatever.
Of course, I rarely end up doing anything really, I dunno, effective. It gets put off for various reasons, not the least of which is the fact that any ideas I have are half-baked at best. I'm sure this is classic teenage behavior, as many of us (including myself) have/indulge the deranged idea that we will definitely grow up to be someone important. And not just important as in important to friends and family. We're talkin' important to the world. Steve Jobs, Mother Theresa, Brad Pitt; that kind of important.
It gets frustrating, having this drive to do something surge up, and you get wild with brilliant ideas, but before you can do anything with any of them that energy you had earlier fizzles out--and you find yourself in bed listening to U2 and wondering where the day went.
Part of this, of course, is what I mentioned earlier: a natural human thirst for greatness. But I think it may also come (at least in my case) from a sense of obligation. Everywhere, both in pop culture and in religion, we are being urged to live each day like it was the last one of our life. Carpe Diem and all that jazz. But even with exhortations to do something buzzing both outside and inside, all we ever really do is find ourselves dreaming but not actually doing anything. Another day slides away, and before we know it, it is the last day of our life.
How do you solve this problem? Either constantly stay on your toes, wondering: "Oh, how am I going to change the world today?!?" or just shrug the whole thing off and sink into discontented apathy. It's not like we can do something great every day.
Thoughts, anyone?
Of course, I rarely end up doing anything really, I dunno, effective. It gets put off for various reasons, not the least of which is the fact that any ideas I have are half-baked at best. I'm sure this is classic teenage behavior, as many of us (including myself) have/indulge the deranged idea that we will definitely grow up to be someone important. And not just important as in important to friends and family. We're talkin' important to the world. Steve Jobs, Mother Theresa, Brad Pitt; that kind of important.
It gets frustrating, having this drive to do something surge up, and you get wild with brilliant ideas, but before you can do anything with any of them that energy you had earlier fizzles out--and you find yourself in bed listening to U2 and wondering where the day went.
Part of this, of course, is what I mentioned earlier: a natural human thirst for greatness. But I think it may also come (at least in my case) from a sense of obligation. Everywhere, both in pop culture and in religion, we are being urged to live each day like it was the last one of our life. Carpe Diem and all that jazz. But even with exhortations to do something buzzing both outside and inside, all we ever really do is find ourselves dreaming but not actually doing anything. Another day slides away, and before we know it, it is the last day of our life.
How do you solve this problem? Either constantly stay on your toes, wondering: "Oh, how am I going to change the world today?!?" or just shrug the whole thing off and sink into discontented apathy. It's not like we can do something great every day.
Thoughts, anyone?
posted by James at
3:09 PM
