Thursday, April 28, 2005

Another step in the right direction

Yesterday, the House of Representatives passed a bill that makes it illegal for minors to be taken into other states where the law for parental consent for abortions isn't in effect. This, as the title says, is a step in the right direction. As President Bush (of course, nothing he says is ever of any importance, 'cuz he's just a warmongering monkey who sometimes *gasp* uses improper grammar and other atrocities, after all) said:
The parents of pregnant minors can provide council, guidance, and support to their children and should be involved in these decisions

Yeah. What he said. Even if you're a rabid pro-choicer, you have to admit that a parent's consent not being required for abortions is simply ludicrous. An abortion is a major surgery, and a parent not knowing about it is, well...stupid. As many people have said before, why is it that a student has to ask permission just to get an ibuprofen or aspirin, but can go and get a dangerous surgery on the sly? Hmmm...?

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

We have a Pope!

Ladies and gents of the world, please tip your hats to Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, now to be known as...

Pope Benedict XVI

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Listen for Truth

Yesterday, pro-homosexual students everywhere were zippin' the lip to show their support for homosexual students' rights (?). Today, Christian (mostly) students are now making their opinions known. For today, my friends, is the Day of Truth (Oh, and by the way, if you want a link to Day of Silence, it's here).

Anyhoo, today more Christian-minded students will be making their opinions known about homosexuality, by wearing T-shirts with pertinent slogans on them, passing out cards, and etc. The cards will be carrying a message on them that I think sums up quite well the real, Christian attitude towards homosexuality:

"I am speaking the Truth to break the silence. I believe in equal treatment for all, and not special rights for a few. I believe in loving my neighbor, but part of that love means not condoning detrimental personal and social behavior. I believe that by boldly proclaiming the Truth, hurts will be halted, hearts will be healed, and lives will be saved."

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Listen for Silence

I just read an interesting little thing in today's paper. Apparently, today, April 13, is the "Day of Silence". On this day, pro-gay/pro-lesbian/pro-bisexual students all over the nation will spend the school day totally silent, thus voicing their support for gay rights in schools; that is, the same rights for gay students as there are for straight students.
My question, though: What are these rights that gay (and etc.) students are so deprived of? The gay agenda (or whatever you want to call it) has received lots of support across the country, or, at least, in the important places, such as college campuses. The education system throughout the country tends to be pretty liberal (if it isn't, then why is evolution so readily taught while creationism is having such a freakin' hard time?), and the pro-gay folks hold a lot of power. I highly doubt any school would want to discriminate against their gay students, for fear of the ACLU swooping down on them like so many vultures.
So what discrimination are gay students suffering? I highly doubt that they're taking any flak from teachers. I suppose, if anything, it's verbal (sometimes physical, even) abuse from their fellow students. If this is the case, this is truly too bad. However, if people are working to rid gay students of this in their school lives, why don't they work to rid the nerds of it, too? Or the poor kids? Or the rich kids? Or the outspoken Christian kids? Or the Jewish kids? Or Muslim kids? I could go on and on.
I suppose I do believe homosexuals should have the same rights as anyone else (with the exception of marriage, obviously--and please don't start, GOB, we've covered this topic so thouroughly already), but they certainly shouldn't have more rights than anyone else, correct? All you fairness-loving liberals out there have no choice but to agree with me.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

*Snnrrrrkkk!!*

Got these (rather intimidating) lists in an email a while ago. Thought I'd share them with y'all:

54 Fun Things to do at Wal Mart
~Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.
~Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
~Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals
throughout the day.
~Don't bother doing your own shopping. Simply find someone with a full trolley containing roughly the items you need, and when they are not looking take it and go pay for it at the checkout.
~Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the
spray air fresheners.
~Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.
~Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
~Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit, then arrange them into weird poses.
~When there are people behind you, walk really slowly,
especially in thin aisles.
~Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I
think we've got a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
~Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off
and turn the volume up to full blast.
~Re-enact a fatal incident involving the automatic doors.
~Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen
you in so long." etc. See if they play along. Insist on calling them 'Bob', and if they protest, get angry about it (violent if necissary).
~While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself
loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!"
~When you leave the store, try your car keys in the door of every car in the car park until you get to your own. Then drive off as if this is perfectly normal.
~Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are
taking it for a test drive.
~Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet
behind them. Do this until they leave the store.
~Ask if you can test some super-glue before buying it, then walk around the store gluing random items to other items/customers/staff. For added fun: See how many cashiers you can glue to each-other before any of them notice.
~As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say "BEEP" in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customers items. If the cashier protests, kill them.
~Take off your shoes and tell the employees you want to return them and
when they say you didn't buy it there say "The customer is always right!!" Make a scene.
~Move "Caution : Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
~Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you
will only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed, Bath and Beyond.
~Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other
aisles.
~Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
~Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,
"I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."
~Climb things.
~Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
~Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello"
upside down.
~When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and
say, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
~When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between
them yelling "Red Rover."
~Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any
in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples). Do a vague hand-mime of what a 'Shnerple' looks like to assist them.
~Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale
battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.
~Take bets on the battle from above.
~Test the brushes and combs in Cosmetics on all the live animals in Pet-Care.
~While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask
the clerk where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as
possible.
~Hold indoor shopping cart races.
~Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
Mission Impossible.
~Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
~Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags against their will.
~Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to
your Twinkies."
~Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
~Two words: Marco Polo.
~Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet
section, etc.
~"Re-alphabetize" the CD's using an alternative alphabet of your choosing.
~In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with
various funnels.
~When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at
something, quickly place random combinations of items in their cart, such as 'A Large Cucumber and a Tub of Vasceline'.
~Relax in the patio furniture drinking beer until you get kicked out.
~When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop to
your knees and scream, "No, no, its those voices again."
~Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.
~Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to
the food court, buy a drink, and explain that you don't get out
much and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
~Make a trail of orange juice on the floor, leading to the restrooms.
~Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
~Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "pick me! pick me!!"
~Go into the dressing room and yell really loud..."Hey, we're out of toilet paper in here!"

15 Fun Things to do at McDonalds
~Laugh really loud for absolutly no good reason.
~On a self-serve Coke machine, fill your cup with ice and just stand there until someone tells you its overflowing.
~Run into people's tables and say, "Oh sorry!"
~Stomp your foot and say, "OHMYGOD they dont have tacos!"
~Listen in on people's conversations and laugh when they laugh.
~Sing the Taco Bell song over and over until someone tells you to stop.
~After you filled up your cup, trip and say, "Oh at least they're free."
~Walk by peoples tables and steal their fries.
~Look at the toys and say, "My gosh, what cheap toys."
~Bring a newspaper over to someones table (that you don't know) and say, "Do you have 7 down on this morning's crossword puzzle?" When they answer no, steal some fries and go on to the next table.
~Leave your tray and trash in the bathroom
~When your in the bathroom say, "Does anyone have a lot of toilet paper I can borrow?"
~If some one is in the bathroom, kick the door and say, get out of my bathroom!
~When no one is in the bathroom, lock the door and decorate the bathroom with toilet paper.
~Make the shape of a gun with your hand and stick in your shirt and say, "GIVE ME ALL YOUR FRIES!" and then say, "No I'm only kidding, I would like to order."

31 Children's Books That Didn't Make It
~You're Different -- And That's Bad
~The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables
~Robert: Dad's New Wife
~Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share
~The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
~Kathy Was So Bad That her Mom Stopped Loving Her
~Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
~All Cats Go to Hell
~The Little Sissy That Snitched
~Why Can't Mr. Fork and Mrs. Electrical Outlet be Friends?
~That's It, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption.
~Grandpa Gets a Casket
~101 Things You Can Do at the Bottom of the Pool
~The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
~Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear
~The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
~Strangers Have the Best Candy
~Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
~You Were an Accident
~Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
~Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
~Your Nightmares Are Real
~Where Would You Like to be Buried?
~You've Got Hepatitis B, Charlie Brown
~Valuable Protein and Other Nutritional Benefits of Things from Your Nose
~"Ploff!" goes the Hamster and 100 Other Fun Microwave Games
~Curious George and the Rotweilers
~Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
~Used Toilet Paper and Your Babysitter
~The Care Bears Maul Some Campers
~Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things

Friday, April 08, 2005

Yowza M'Showza!!

I don't suppose you have any clue what the title means? Dang, I don't either. Well, I have a clue. It's a random phrase I just coined, pulled out of a sack of verbal debris in my mind, to express surprise at upcoming big change. That is: we're moving.
Of course, on the Internet, where you can talk to your neighbor as soon as you can talk to a guy in Sri Lanka, this means next to nil, but to me, it's kinda big news. This is part of the reason I haven't posted for a while; we've gone somewhat crazy preparing our house for selling (that--and laziness on my part).
While we have moved before; numerous times, this move is a first for our family, because for once we're just moving to a more convenient part of town, as opposed to going halfway across the country. It's nice that this time, the verb will literally be "move" instead of "totally uproot and transplant". Aaah...
Earlier today my parents signed the papers necessary to make an offer on this luuverly house we found, a big ol' "A" house that's been spiffingly remodeled and will actually have enough bedrooms for all of us. Except for a rather hazardous staircase and a freezing basement, the house is fantastic. Cross your fingers and hope we get it.

Oh, and...
In the unlikely event that any Myst fans are reading this, I have a favor to ask. A few weeks ago, I made a petition on petitiononline.com to be sent to CyanWorlds (the guys who made Myst, in the once-again-unlikely-event you didn't already know that), asking them to seriously consider having a Myst movie made. I've gotten it fairly well publicized, but I just felt my plugging spree wouldn't be complete unless I posted about it on my blog. If you want to sign the petition, it is here.

One more thing...
Check this out:
The Weirdest Blog Ever Written.

Monday, April 04, 2005

In Memory of...

Karol Wojtyla / Pope John Paul II
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1920 - 2005