*Snnrrrrkkk!!*
Got these (rather intimidating) lists in an email a while ago. Thought I'd share them with y'all:
54 Fun Things to do at Wal Mart
~Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.
~Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
~Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals
throughout the day.
~Don't bother doing your own shopping. Simply find someone with a full trolley containing roughly the items you need, and when they are not looking take it and go pay for it at the checkout.
~Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the
spray air fresheners.
~Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.
~Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
~Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit, then arrange them into weird poses.
~When there are people behind you, walk really slowly,
especially in thin aisles.
~Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I
think we've got a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
~Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off
and turn the volume up to full blast.
~Re-enact a fatal incident involving the automatic doors.
~Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen
you in so long." etc. See if they play along. Insist on calling them 'Bob', and if they protest, get angry about it (violent if necissary).
~While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself
loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!"
~When you leave the store, try your car keys in the door of every car in the car park until you get to your own. Then drive off as if this is perfectly normal.
~Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are
taking it for a test drive.
~Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet
behind them. Do this until they leave the store.
~Ask if you can test some super-glue before buying it, then walk around the store gluing random items to other items/customers/staff. For added fun: See how many cashiers you can glue to each-other before any of them notice.
~As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say "BEEP" in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customers items. If the cashier protests, kill them.
~Take off your shoes and tell the employees you want to return them and
when they say you didn't buy it there say "The customer is always right!!" Make a scene.
~Move "Caution : Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
~Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you
will only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed, Bath and Beyond.
~Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other
aisles.
~Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
~Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,
"I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."
~Climb things.
~Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
~Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello"
upside down.
~When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and
say, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
~When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between
them yelling "Red Rover."
~Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any
in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples). Do a vague hand-mime of what a 'Shnerple' looks like to assist them.
~Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale
battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.
~Take bets on the battle from above.
~Test the brushes and combs in Cosmetics on all the live animals in Pet-Care.
~While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask
the clerk where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as
possible.
~Hold indoor shopping cart races.
~Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
Mission Impossible.
~Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
~Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags against their will.
~Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to
your Twinkies."
~Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
~Two words: Marco Polo.
~Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet
section, etc.
~"Re-alphabetize" the CD's using an alternative alphabet of your choosing.
~In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with
various funnels.
~When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at
something, quickly place random combinations of items in their cart, such as 'A Large Cucumber and a Tub of Vasceline'.
~Relax in the patio furniture drinking beer until you get kicked out.
~When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop to
your knees and scream, "No, no, its those voices again."
~Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.
~Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to
the food court, buy a drink, and explain that you don't get out
much and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
~Make a trail of orange juice on the floor, leading to the restrooms.
~Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
~Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "pick me! pick me!!"
~Go into the dressing room and yell really loud..."Hey, we're out of toilet paper in here!"
15 Fun Things to do at McDonalds
~Laugh really loud for absolutly no good reason.
~On a self-serve Coke machine, fill your cup with ice and just stand there until someone tells you its overflowing.
~Run into people's tables and say, "Oh sorry!"
~Stomp your foot and say, "OHMYGOD they dont have tacos!"
~Listen in on people's conversations and laugh when they laugh.
~Sing the Taco Bell song over and over until someone tells you to stop.
~After you filled up your cup, trip and say, "Oh at least they're free."
~Walk by peoples tables and steal their fries.
~Look at the toys and say, "My gosh, what cheap toys."
~Bring a newspaper over to someones table (that you don't know) and say, "Do you have 7 down on this morning's crossword puzzle?" When they answer no, steal some fries and go on to the next table.
~Leave your tray and trash in the bathroom
~When your in the bathroom say, "Does anyone have a lot of toilet paper I can borrow?"
~If some one is in the bathroom, kick the door and say, get out of my bathroom!
~When no one is in the bathroom, lock the door and decorate the bathroom with toilet paper.
~Make the shape of a gun with your hand and stick in your shirt and say, "GIVE ME ALL YOUR FRIES!" and then say, "No I'm only kidding, I would like to order."
31 Children's Books That Didn't Make It
~You're Different -- And That's Bad
~The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables
~Robert: Dad's New Wife
~Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share
~The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
~Kathy Was So Bad That her Mom Stopped Loving Her
~Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
~All Cats Go to Hell
~The Little Sissy That Snitched
~Why Can't Mr. Fork and Mrs. Electrical Outlet be Friends?
~That's It, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption.
~Grandpa Gets a Casket
~101 Things You Can Do at the Bottom of the Pool
~The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
~Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear
~The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
~Strangers Have the Best Candy
~Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
~You Were an Accident
~Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
~Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
~Your Nightmares Are Real
~Where Would You Like to be Buried?
~You've Got Hepatitis B, Charlie Brown
~Valuable Protein and Other Nutritional Benefits of Things from Your Nose
~"Ploff!" goes the Hamster and 100 Other Fun Microwave Games
~Curious George and the Rotweilers
~Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
~Used Toilet Paper and Your Babysitter
~The Care Bears Maul Some Campers
~Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
54 Fun Things to do at Wal Mart
~Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.
~Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
~Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals
throughout the day.
~Don't bother doing your own shopping. Simply find someone with a full trolley containing roughly the items you need, and when they are not looking take it and go pay for it at the checkout.
~Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the
spray air fresheners.
~Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.
~Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
~Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit, then arrange them into weird poses.
~When there are people behind you, walk really slowly,
especially in thin aisles.
~Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I
think we've got a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
~Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off
and turn the volume up to full blast.
~Re-enact a fatal incident involving the automatic doors.
~Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen
you in so long." etc. See if they play along. Insist on calling them 'Bob', and if they protest, get angry about it (violent if necissary).
~While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself
loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!"
~When you leave the store, try your car keys in the door of every car in the car park until you get to your own. Then drive off as if this is perfectly normal.
~Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are
taking it for a test drive.
~Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet
behind them. Do this until they leave the store.
~Ask if you can test some super-glue before buying it, then walk around the store gluing random items to other items/customers/staff. For added fun: See how many cashiers you can glue to each-other before any of them notice.
~As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say "BEEP" in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customers items. If the cashier protests, kill them.
~Take off your shoes and tell the employees you want to return them and
when they say you didn't buy it there say "The customer is always right!!" Make a scene.
~Move "Caution : Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
~Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you
will only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed, Bath and Beyond.
~Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other
aisles.
~Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
~Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,
"I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."
~Climb things.
~Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
~Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello"
upside down.
~When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and
say, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
~When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between
them yelling "Red Rover."
~Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any
in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples). Do a vague hand-mime of what a 'Shnerple' looks like to assist them.
~Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale
battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.
~Take bets on the battle from above.
~Test the brushes and combs in Cosmetics on all the live animals in Pet-Care.
~While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask
the clerk where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as
possible.
~Hold indoor shopping cart races.
~Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
Mission Impossible.
~Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
~Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags against their will.
~Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to
your Twinkies."
~Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
~Two words: Marco Polo.
~Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet
section, etc.
~"Re-alphabetize" the CD's using an alternative alphabet of your choosing.
~In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with
various funnels.
~When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at
something, quickly place random combinations of items in their cart, such as 'A Large Cucumber and a Tub of Vasceline'.
~Relax in the patio furniture drinking beer until you get kicked out.
~When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop to
your knees and scream, "No, no, its those voices again."
~Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.
~Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to
the food court, buy a drink, and explain that you don't get out
much and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
~Make a trail of orange juice on the floor, leading to the restrooms.
~Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
~Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "pick me! pick me!!"
~Go into the dressing room and yell really loud..."Hey, we're out of toilet paper in here!"
15 Fun Things to do at McDonalds
~Laugh really loud for absolutly no good reason.
~On a self-serve Coke machine, fill your cup with ice and just stand there until someone tells you its overflowing.
~Run into people's tables and say, "Oh sorry!"
~Stomp your foot and say, "OHMYGOD they dont have tacos!"
~Listen in on people's conversations and laugh when they laugh.
~Sing the Taco Bell song over and over until someone tells you to stop.
~After you filled up your cup, trip and say, "Oh at least they're free."
~Walk by peoples tables and steal their fries.
~Look at the toys and say, "My gosh, what cheap toys."
~Bring a newspaper over to someones table (that you don't know) and say, "Do you have 7 down on this morning's crossword puzzle?" When they answer no, steal some fries and go on to the next table.
~Leave your tray and trash in the bathroom
~When your in the bathroom say, "Does anyone have a lot of toilet paper I can borrow?"
~If some one is in the bathroom, kick the door and say, get out of my bathroom!
~When no one is in the bathroom, lock the door and decorate the bathroom with toilet paper.
~Make the shape of a gun with your hand and stick in your shirt and say, "GIVE ME ALL YOUR FRIES!" and then say, "No I'm only kidding, I would like to order."
31 Children's Books That Didn't Make It
~You're Different -- And That's Bad
~The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables
~Robert: Dad's New Wife
~Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share
~The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
~Kathy Was So Bad That her Mom Stopped Loving Her
~Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
~All Cats Go to Hell
~The Little Sissy That Snitched
~Why Can't Mr. Fork and Mrs. Electrical Outlet be Friends?
~That's It, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption.
~Grandpa Gets a Casket
~101 Things You Can Do at the Bottom of the Pool
~The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
~Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear
~The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
~Strangers Have the Best Candy
~Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
~You Were an Accident
~Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
~Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
~Your Nightmares Are Real
~Where Would You Like to be Buried?
~You've Got Hepatitis B, Charlie Brown
~Valuable Protein and Other Nutritional Benefits of Things from Your Nose
~"Ploff!" goes the Hamster and 100 Other Fun Microwave Games
~Curious George and the Rotweilers
~Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
~Used Toilet Paper and Your Babysitter
~The Care Bears Maul Some Campers
~Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
posted by James at
8:03 AM
