Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Concerning oceans

So I spent the last few days in Lincoln City, a medium-sized tourist trap on the Oregon Coast. Having gone there at least five times before in the past, I dunno, eight years, there is little here that is new to report. The place still has the seagulls, the brine, the kelp and crabshells and gross green streaks of foam that it has had for millenia. It also has the omnipresent nautical themes, cozy beach houses and surprisingly frumpy atmosphere that it has probably had for the past century. Assuming it's existed that long; I don't know.
It sounds like I speak disparagingly of it, as if I'm sick of the place. And, I'll be honest, the town has some kitschy-ness about it that doesn't entirely agree with me. Because I'm so cultured, doncha know...
But there's something undeniably special about the ocean. Even when I'm walking along the beach, freezing because of the absurd wind and trying not to yelp as the airborne sand flays my legs, I get a kick out of it. Well, "a kick" is perhaps not the right phrase. But it always seems to pull me into a sort of pleasantly contemplative state. The sand whipping my legs, for example: it occurred to me as I was getting exfoliated down there on the beach that this was eons and eons of geological matter flying past me, getting itself all over my clothes, into my shoes, my hair. Like the centuries were delivering me a personal beating. That's a bit of an honor, is it not?
Then of course there are the waves. And the way the sea and the sky melt together into a white haze on the horizon, like it really is the edge of the world. One can easily see where people got the idea of a flat earth.
Then there's the distinct pleasure of coming inside after getting beaten up by the sand and the wind and the surf and the chill, taking a shower, flopping onto the couch in a warm living room, cracking open a can of cream soda and waiting for assorted family members to wander in so we can all turn on a movie. That's when you look up at the bizarre ships-wheel light fixture and think to yourself, "life is good."

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Oh man, how do I do this again?

Assuming I still know how to write (and assuming I don't change my mind again and toss this blog in the trash like I originally planned), I would like to share some thoughts regarding...robots. I think. Yeah, robots. As in how often does a person typically end up feeling like one?
As in "emotional range of a teaspoon," to quote Hermione Granger....
Oh dang. I don't know how to write. Not like this, anyway. Perhaps a fictional approach:

Model 062390, Class A was not always Model 062390, Class A. Sometimes it was just Otto. Or, more appropriately, sometimes Otto was just Model 062390, Class A. Every once in a while his eyeballs would roll upward and he'd discover that good old Class A metal plating encasing his head, or he'd look down and it would be wrapped around his chest. And then there was the wretched insert. Sensors fed from the plating, a la acupuncture, into his spinal column where they gracefully wound upward to the insert. The insert would then interpret the input from the sensors accordingly.
Now don't misunderstand, the insert did not control Otto's brain, by any means. But it sure could raise a racket. Otto wasn't personally inclined to take its advice, but that inclination, practically speaking, meant very little when he wasn't able to tell if the voice he was hearing was it or Daddy. It was very adept at impersonating Daddy. Otto would have dearly liked to somehow reached into his own skull and yanked the thing out. But things don't work that way, obviously.
One of many tricks the insert had up its sleeve was convincing Otto that he was not, in fact, Otto but rather Model 062390, Type A. It could do this very efficiently by snaking a mechanical tendril into his chest and restricting the movement of his heart.
Otto knew the heart wasn't everything, by any means. That was one thing Daddy always reminded him of, and he knew (but didn't always feel) it to be true. But to feel the heart thump in his chest was very reassuring, and when that didn't happen (or at least happened in a stunted fashion) he, well, felt less like Otto and more like
Model 062390, Type A.

Hmmm...

...so I look through the archives and I'm like, "Well, actually this looks pretty decent to me. Maybe I should keep it."
I'm so decisive. If I change my mind again, the new one would be the second blog I've created and deleted in as many days.
Phooey.

Moving on...

Why, you may ask, would I change blogs when I have a perfectly functioning (albeit rather abandoned) one right here?
I...am not sure.
But I've gone and done it. So if you are at all interested, the new URL is weneverstopasking.blogspot.com.
All you faithful readers out there...;)